Finding My Fiction Voice Again After 2.5 Years Away
“Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest.”
I’m writing a fiction book for the first time in about 2.5 years. I spent 2023 and 2024 writing my memoir, even though I began working on it before then. In January 2023, I signed on to work with a memoir book coach because I was lost and overwhelmed, having never written something like it before.
With her guidance, I produced a first draft in eight months, then went on to edit and revise it for another year. I’m now waiting to hear from a small press to see if they’re interested in publishing it.
After spending years writing about my own life, fiction felt strangely foreign to me. I still read fiction, though it wasn’t as much. Memoirs and nonfiction books took up the bulk of my reading list and I know that caused the rift between us to widen.
I truly felt as Elizabeth Gilbert writes in her book, Big Magic,
“I hadn’t written a novel in so long, I feared I had forgotten how to do it at all. I feared that fiction had become a language I could no longer speak.”
Earlier this year, as I was contemplating my next writing project, a few ideas emerged from the story box I had buried deep within my mind. Some I had brainstormed before writing my memoir, and others were new.
join the community today ↓ to get blogs, news, and announcements delivered right to your inbox!Any writer will tell you that deciding what book to write next is a difficult decision. Many know right away, while others toil away for weeks—months even—trying to nail down the one. And often, when I’d begin one project, another pushed it aside. It doesn’t help that I’m inspired by literally everything I read, hear, and watch.
For example, while I was focused on one piece, another emerged from the trenches, cleared the dust, and moved ahead of it, leaving only this new one in view. It was an idea I had thought of years, and I mean years, ago. I can’t even remember when it first appeared in my head. But something innate told it this was its time.
I believe that story ideas often emerge during specific moods or chapters (no pun intended) of life. You hear it all the time when authors talk about the inspiration behind their current books. They may say something like…
“I wrote this after going through a nasty divorce.”
“I was in a really dark place when this idea came to me.”
“I wrote this to help me understand why this happened.”
Personal experience, emotions, and current events play a huge role in why authors work on the projects they do, and I’m no exception.
I felt like the first idea was ideal for me to tackle. It fell into a genre I love, featured elements I enjoy, and was, to put it simply, a perfect fit for me.
But midway through brainstorming the characters and outline, I watched a YouTube video about a couple from a TV series I had just finished binging. It seemed as though the video, the song selection, and the concept were the crucial elements that ignited the previously dormant idea.
This wasn’t a gentle reawakening. This idea used both hands to hurl the lid out of its way. I felt it immediately and knew what I had to do. I set the current project down, closed my eyes, and let the newly released story have its say.
“Remember me?” it started. “It’s been a while, I know. You didn’t think you had it in you to write me the last time, but I’m here to tell you that now is the time. No disrespect to the other idea, but you’re feeling what I need to share with readers. You may not feel it forever—I don’t want you to—so let’s tell this story while you can.”
Yes, it seems insane that an idea spoke to me, but writers and other creatives understand. Ideas do speak to us and it’s our job to listen or ignore them. Gilbert makes mention of this in Big Magic when she writes,
“Ideas are a disembodied, energetic life-form. They are completely separate from us, but capable of interacting with us—albeit strangely. Ideas have no material body, but they do have consciousness, and they most certainly have will. Therefore, ideas spend eternity swirling around us, searching for available and willing human partners.”
Though I loved the idea I was originally working on, this new one was right: the headspace I’m currently in and the questions I need answered align more with it. The characters, scene list, and other aspects came together quickly, which usually means I’m on the right path.
I’ll admit that writing fiction after so long feels weird. Yes, memoir and fiction are similar in that you’re taking the reader on a journey of change. They both need to ground the reader in a sense of place, emotion, and character. The main difference is that a memoir is about the author, while fiction is about a character that could sometimes be inspired by the author or completely made up.
The most challenging aspect has been enabling this protagonist to develop into a fully realized individual. Sure, we may share the same thoughts about certain things, but she is her own person.
While it’s been hard to not see myself as the main character as I did in my memoir, it’s also been a relief. I haven’t endured half as much as her, and I’m here to guide her through the transformation.
I’m being vague for a reason. When I’m drafting a new project, I keep the general details to myself. This limits the number of people offering me their thoughts, suggestions, or judgments. If I get stuck, I have a small group of trusted writing friends I turn to.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing your ideas in whatever stage of development they’re in, but I always caution writers who share too soon. Let the idea be yours for as long as possible because once it’s out there in the world, many will have something to say about it.
In the past, I've come to the realization halfway through a draft that it's no longer working and I need to start over. Then when people ask, “How’s the book going?” it feels awkward to tell them, “Slowly.” Especially to those who have never embarked on the perilous, tedious, and exhilarating task of writing an 80,000+ word novel.
As of this posting, I am X words into this draft. I don’t have a set date for when I’ll type “The End,” though I imagine it coming up sooner rather than later.
I’m a writer who prefers to get through the initial draft quickly and spend more time in the revision process. But I also allow the words to flow out at the pace they want to.
Writing is most joyful for me when there is a balance between taking my time and seeing progress. And since being back at work (my temporary disability ended on May 12th), my writing schedule has changed drastically. But I don’t mind, since change can be good for creativity.
What matters most is that I’m welcoming back my fiction voice and guiding these characters on a journey I hope readers will resonate with.
If this post resonated with you in any way, please consider buying me a coffee. A little caffeine goes a long way for a writer, and I will be forever grateful for the fuel. ☕️