there is no me without you
what do you take me for?
don’t you see the tears in my eyes?
I’ve bled for you
cried for you
and you laugh at my scars
do you expect me to apologize?
do you expect me to beg?
well, forgive me if I flip you off
and leave you just the same
I’m fine on my own
I don’t need your false love
dawn is about to break
a brightness you claim hurt your eyes
you’ll be the one crying when night returns
your favorite time of day
trapped in your solitude thinking,
“there’s no me without you.”
join the community today ↓ to get blogs, news, and announcements delivered right to your inbox!Another poem pulled from an old journal, dated December 29, 2013. I wrote this in response to yet another friendship destroyed by my inability to reciprocate romantic feelings.
You see, before I discovered I was asexual, I had a lot of male friends like me romantically. I was living the opening lyrics of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone.”
Here’s the thing, we started out friends.
I, however, could not return their feelings and could never explain why. I didn’t come out as asexual until 2020. By then it had been years since these friendships were damaged beyond repair.
This poem was, in a way, my anger over not being able to express my truth. And since many of those friendships were ruined because their feelings changed and mine had not, people were hurt.
I hated losing those friendships, many of which were very dear to me. But sometimes we don’t know why we feel—or don’t feel—the way we’re supposed to. And all we can do is get out our frustration in another, healthier way.
If this post resonated with you in any way, please consider buying me a coffee. A little caffeine goes a long way for a writer, and I will be forever grateful for the fuel. ☕️